A Blind Date with Josh Sabarra

By their very nature, book covers are designed to attract attention. Some succeed; others fail. And, like people, you cannot accurately judge a book by its cover.

Instead, you must make the time and investment to go beyond the surface and, hopefully be pleasantly surprised.

Enter Porn Again: A Memoir, Josh Sabarra’s jaw-dropping, eye-catching, titillating book whose cover offers up a muscular, tight-fitting T-shirt wearing young man as he holds a flaming orange sculpture of a rooster (or cock, if you will) up to his…waist.

Admittedly, the cover succeeds in drawing attention. However, the content within is what offers the deeper, richer understanding of the author’s life.

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[Naturally] a cover cannot necessarily be all things to all people,” said Sabarra. “The idea behind the marketing and design of the book’s cover was that it would grab people’s attention and imply the irreverent, fun tone of the book.”

Artfully done from beginning to end, Porn Again never disappoints. With cheeky wit and saucy details, Sabarra dives right in – taking us with him – with a delicious description of a man he once dated:

“Jacob was an adorable nerd of a fuck buddy who introduced me to extraterrestrial sex.”

Each chapter going forward presents an equally revealing account of Sabarra’s life – being a young boy dealing with the bullying and taunts of adult counselors at summer camp; being aware of, but not fully comprehending the feeling of being different; acknowledging the excitement of seeing naked men; repressing oneself in order to not incite any negative or unwanted attention; and slowly understanding how to navigate the complexities of life and the relationships forged along the way.

“Cher and Dolly – not surprisingly, two of my celebrity idols – had both defied the odds. They overcame hardships and their nontraditional physical attributes, transforming themselves into glittering representations of Hollywood legend. Like many gay boys and men, I found strength in their perseverance and the idea that reinvention was a path to being adored.”

Sabarra’s form of storytelling is intentional.

“I’ve always loved the memoir genre, particularly books that include vignettes and essays that tell the story without necessarily having one overall narrative,” he said.

Like any good film, song, or classic Greek play, Sabarra’s story is replete with charm, humor, challenges, triumphs and pathos. And, of course, since this is a memoir, there are many individuals – named and unnamed – who have been instrumental in shaping his life.

“After 31 years, it had all come to this moment. Since junior high school, I dreamed of touching another man’s naked body, and I longed for someone who wanted to touch mine. Gavin and I waked into the bedroom, hand in hand, and flopped onto his queen-size mattress. I landed on top of him, a position that turned him on; I could feel it in his pants.”

Whether it was sex with a famous actor or athlete; hanging out and partying with a talk-show host; meeting his musical heroines early on in life; or being treated like a pariah for not being an A-List celebrity, Sabarra’s intention for putting thought to paper has a greater purpose.

“I’ve been through all of [those] things and by putting it down onto paper, maybe there will be some people entertained by [my story], some people touched by it, or some people who will find themselves in the pages,” said Sabarra. “[By telling] my story in an honest way, there might be some people who would identify with it and that might help them.”

Such a tell-all book comes at a price. Since the book’s release, Sabarra says he’s lost many friends because he named specific people.

“You know, sometimes life has a way of weeding things out for you,” said Sabarra. “I don’t know if I was subconsciously making a choice to go through and pare down the kind of people I had around me when I was writing this book.”

Porn Again is Sabarra’s 40-year journey from boy to man with all the highs and lows along the way. Writing this book allowed the author to recognize his own catharsis, his need for acceptance (a constant thread throughout the book), and understand that his evolution would be an ongoing process.

“The faint lines on my forehead – matched by light crow’s feet around my eyes – showed some wear and worry. I wasn’t flawless. But, I could live with that. I was me.”

Josh Sabarra, 41, is a veteran marketing executive and television producer. He writes a column for the Gay Times London and is president and CEO of his own public relations firm. He lives in Los Angeles, California. Porn Again: A Memoir is his first book. A new novel is in the works.